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Archive for the ‘thoughts’ Category

Studies = Worries

 

How do you know you chose the right subject to study? How will you know when you have never worked with it? 

Did it take you multiple tries to figure out what you want to do in life? Have you done the first thing you thought of for your entire life? 

Did you go to another country to study? Far away from all your friends and family? Did you start over? Did you do it in a foreign language?

I have all these questions in my head. Some people say I should change my major all the time. That I should just keep going and when I’m finished i will be happy.  And some people encourage me to change, do what is right for me in the moment. 

I get confused. I dont know what to do or where to go. I don’t have only myself to consider either. And I dont know actually what I want. I am just in the starting face of knowing what I like. 

From education studies, to economics. Yeah, huge difference. Well, now, through my bloging, vlogging and broadcasting, can you guess what i thought of? 

Journalism. 

It is extreemly hard to come in to journalism schools in Norway. I dont have a shot, in a million. But it seems interessting. It seems like what i should do. 

You people who have seen my live shows on blogtv, or seen my thoughts on youtube, or even you, who are reading my blogs; Do you think this might be it?

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edward

I just stumbled upon this site called “onesentance.org“, and this one sentence caught my attention.

I know how this girl feels, and I can’t even imagining how this boy felt. Not being able to be a fiction character. I know boys must hate Edward, cause he isn’t real, and he does and is how no boy could ever be able to be. Cause he isn’t real.

But that makes him more fantasizeable, cause he is the ultimate boy, the boy every girl wants. Or at least a lot of girls.

I’m not saying im on the girl’s side here. Cause destroying a relationship over a fiction character is quite extreme. But i know how she feels, cause i know what I think about Edward. Omg, Edward is h0t 😛

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The Snow

The snow came to Norway as it did in alot of countries these past days. It has been cold for the last days, so it was kind of in the air. I was just waiting. Even though i was waiting, it hit me. I woke up.

“It’s Snowing”
“No-way”

And it was. The ground was covered and the sky was white. That was about all I saw before i crawled back to bed.
Into my warm bed.
Closing my eyes.
Pretending it wasn’t true.
Falling asleep,
Skipping school.

All of this, cause of the snow. It’s cold, its depressing and it melts when it gets to hot. That’s what it always does, that’s what it will do forever. Its depressing. Its not cold enough for the snow to last. We get the snow in october, but it won’t last until christmas. I wish snow would come on the 24th of December and stay just until the 1st of January. That would have been nice.

The snow is alreaddy just wet, rainy and mushy. The weather is still cold. I call that rip-off.

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PostSecret

I was just in London, as you might alreaddy know. And there I bought among other things, a book. A PostSecret book, by Frank Warren. I have posted a few post of postcards from the internett site before: www.postsecret.com. I have also gone to amazon.com and play.com and I almost order all the books everytime. But the shipping and the prices is to high, so it just never happens. But now since i was in london, i went by this bookstore and I asked the man behind the counter for Frank Warren Post Secret books, and they had one!

Its just a small one. Small enough so i can have it with me anywhere actually. Just a little bigger than a bundle of postcards, and i love it. Now i can be sentimental everywhere. ‘Cause thats what these secrets do to me. Some of them even make me cry :/ I like that!

From Amazon.co.uk

Do you like postsecret? Have you ever sent in a secret? Own a book?

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How do you… die?

From Postsecret.com

From Postsecret.com

How you ever wondered how you will die? Ever thought about when it will happen? Will it be fast and painless, slow and hard? Will you be alone or will you have the one you love by your side?

– There was a time in my life i thought much about this. I was scared I would be alone, I was scared I hadn’t done enough to get remembered by anyone. I was scared of death.

– And then there came a time where I didn’t care. I wrote this note and put it in my wallet, it was something like this: “It’s Ok, I was ready to die”. That note was meant to be read by the people who might hit me with a car so they would know i was ready to die, and they should have no hard feelings. Sad you say? Maybe weird? Well, thats what I felt at the time.

– Then a third perspective came along, when I met my boyfriend. Another scary thought came over me. What if he dies before me? What will I do then? Will I be alone? Will I manage to survive without him? I didn’t think i would, and I cried myself to sleep at night praying we would die together when we had lived long and good lives, together.

All this is over. I know now that there is NOTHING I can do about death. Not the timing, not the way it will be, or if I will be alone, or leave loved once alone when I go. When I go, I believe it will be my time, and all I can do, is be a little careful when I drive a car or walk over the road, I can choose not to smoke or do drugs, and that’s about it.

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Are you alone?

Did you ever think about this?

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